I walked into the living room and this is what I saw. I happened to have my camera with me. Yes. I do sleep with it.
In wave of pure genius, I decided to shoehorn my two boys out of the dining and living rooms with their video gaming stuff. To give you an idea of what prompted this sudden brain wave, picture that instead of a trail of dirt being left wherever they go, like Pig Pen from the Peanuts cartoon, a trail of wires. I have been living in a ginormous wire spider web. All this dragging about is due to the fact that they are not allowed to play video games on school days and in order to play X-Box Live, they have to drag all the stuff out each weekend to hook up wires to the router.
The genius part hit me like an light bulb exploding right next to my head and went a little something like this: Even though they each have their own rooms, they sleep and spend time in only one of them (they can’t stand to be in separate rooms so they sleep in the same one via a bunk bed). The other room was a barren wasteland of forgotten toys. SOOOOooo, why not turn the barren wasteland into a GAME ROOM (omg!!) and consolidate all gaming equipment (an accompanying wires) into one room and make the other one the “Sleeping Quarters”.
The big sell: That they would have to share each room so they would basically each have two rooms and could brag to their friends that they had their own room just for their video games. Pure genius! (You can’t hear my evil laugh, but it’s there).
This idea was met with, “Oh mother **hands clasped and taking a knee** this is the most awesomest idea you have ever had. May we please make this work?” (as in “can we do it right this very instant before the alien that possessed your body leaves and the other, less fun creature returns?”). I said sure! BUT… I will have to figure out some way to connect the old wireless router to the new wireless router, wirelessly, because I was not about to have a 50 foot cord running right through the middle of my house. This is where my evil plan backfired evil exhaust into my evil face. That old router worked so I was not about to go spend money just to make it easy on myself.
You see, the old router? Yeah, the one that the internet called lousy when it was being nice? It couldn’t just be all “Yeah, click this button and I’ll do that for you.” Oh no. Earlier versions? Sure no prob! My version? No way sister. I spent FIVE hours researching what I had to do to hack into the dang thing, install stuff on it that upgraded it’s guts and then figure out how to configure said guts. I started at hour one with no idea what I was doing, but I have never been one to shy away from volunteering for masochism.
It was that wondrous, magical moment after taking it into the room for the eight thousandth time and hooking it up that …IT WORKED!
Suddenly we were jumping up and down, hugs and kisses were exchanged, prolific amounts of THANK YOU’s were shot my way, tears were shed and I was declared “The Most Epic Parent in the Universe”. Ahhh. We live for these little moments, don’t we? But I had to remind myself that I will only be epic until tomorrow when we do our family house cleaning drill A.K.A. Five Minute Clean Up (which is always longer) that the groaning will recommence.
At the end of the day, I was extra proud of myself as I managed the equivalent of adding a new media room to my house and hooking it up with wireless internet for FREE. Better than Design on a Dime. FREE! I snuck in a lesson with my kids too! Free can be awesome! Epically Epic.
And then we made Jack O Lanterns. How was your day?
For those unfamiliar with Mac’s, they come pre-installed with the aptly named Speech. It’s a program that allows you to speak commands to your computer instead of typing or clicking them. And you can use it for all your other programs. It will even tell you a joke. I know! Cool right?
You can customize it to handle simple commands or, if you are script savvy (I am not – unless it’s a movie script) you can make it do all kinds of junk.
Per my usual, I set about the internet looking for knowledge. As a rule, it seems that programmers are not good at explaining what they know in layman terms. Even the ones that passed a few college level English courses still slip into jargon talk. But, it’s free so I guess you get what you pay for.
I keep thinking of that scene from that one Star Trek movie mostly because you can have the program require a prompt word before you tell it the command, and the default word is “Computer”. You can change it to whatever you want. I was thinking of changing it to “Husband”. It might go something like this:
Never mind. That just sounds redundant. But, ooh ohh! you can uncheck a box and THE COMPUTER WON’T ANSWER BACK! Why are children not equipped with this feature?! It should be standard like anti-lock brakes. I’m filing a complaint. With my husband.
I’m trying to figure out how I can get it to do all my work for me
All this to tell you I am reading Hack Attack: Make your Mac’s Speech Recognition work for you on LifeHacker.com.